Gala Book of Ages '30 on 30' Minute-By-Minute Party Wrap-Up!

Our thanks to all who turned out at NuBlu last night for the Book of Ages 30 on 30 party. With apologies to Gawker, the three authors' take on what transpired:


6:04pm Dov Weinstein, genius behind Tiny Ninja Theater, arrives at party venue shoeless. Declares, "I was sure you said 6pm."
6:30 Authors arrive at NuBlu in advance of the 7pm start time, to find bar locked.
6:32 After banging on grate in seemingly fruitless manner, authors and crack party planning team admitted to bar.
6:45 JVG's Mom, actor Nicola Sheara, arrives with a suitcase full of cheese.
7:01 JA confirms drink "specials" with bar owner. Patrons later would discover ingenious floating-point "bazaar" pricing strategy for alcohol. (Jordan Dressler to bartender after tab for 3 identical drinks totaled $22: "Can you do the math for me on that one?")
7:10 Powerhouse ICM agents Lisa Bankoff and Kate Lee stride in, intimidating dozens.
7:18 Wallace Norman, Producing Artistic Director of the Woodstock Fringe Festival and hors d'oeuvres enthusiast, arrives, demands pigs in blankets.
7:35 Chris Langone is in the hizouzzzze!
7:38 Joey Liao appears to be wondering if attending party was really worth filling up another two hours space on her TiVO.
7:45 Ken Schwartz declares, "Let's get this party started!"
7:52 Gothamist's Jake Dobkin swings by as part of a circuitous route to Red Hook, where he claims he will spend the night photographing silt-filled canals and dead people. (Or was it dead-filled canals and silt people?)
7:56 Member of New York improv troupe Kundalini Komedy wonders, "So, it's like, an open bar, right?" One author chuckles.

8:01 Gothamist's Jen Chung arrives, bearing some sort of wrapped "present" for Jake. Alas, she is too late: Jake has decamped.
8:04 BOA Website Programming Genius, FictCo Partner, and photoblogger Jesse Chan-Norris arrives. Declares, "I'm sick." Glowers.
8:12 Marshall Miller, the man behind the Alternatives To Marriage Project, reunites with former Brown Daily Herald colleague Thomas de Monchaux. Topic discussed: the pleasing nature of urban industrial decay. "Epic," pronounces Miller.
8:15 Half of the cast of "Buddy" Cianci: The Musical reunite in the back room. Resulting reminiscences and snippets of song horrify the set designer, lurking nearby.
8:23 Carol "Mom" Steele engages Boro6's Robert Sterling in long conversation later reputed to concern "genetics." Universe trembles.
8:29 The PiWo HuHo Posse gathers in front of the pepperoni.
8:30 One of the great legal minds of his generation, Roger Ziegler, points out that the "raffle" for the 30-year-scotch technically constitutes a lottery under New York State law.
8:36 Gawker editor Choire Sicha says his farewells, claiming he has actual "work" to do at home. Yes, we know all about your fondness for Tylenol PM, dear.
8:45 Ladies, Hiro Shinohara is looking hot.
8:55 NuBlu manager tells LS that it is time to remove the signage adorning the bar area. LS is unhinged.
9:02 JVG asks author siblings Jason Albertson and Jacob Albertson the potentially confusing question, "Where's Albertson?"
9:09 LS takes the microphone to announce that the book sales are about to end. Table rush ensues.
9:14 JVG takes to the microphone to announce the winner of the 30-year-scotch raffle: Melissa Ehmann. Naturally, Melissa has left the party, leaving the authors to haul the bottle around the rest of the night.
9:21 French doors to the back porch are closed for the evening, inciting near-riot. Horrifyingly, Gawker Media president Nick Denton is nearly trapped with the teeming hordes.
9:24 Spygirl author Amy Gray and Broadway Books editor Ann Campbell ponder the fact that Spygirl appears to have caught on, like, bigtime, with teenage female bloggers.
9:31 LS nearly in tears when JVG, attempting humor, approaches and says "I'm very upset with you." LS later explains, "I was ready to apologize profusely."
9:34 NuBlu's lawyers serve Blubox's Matt Shepatin with trademark infrigement papers.
9:39 Slower.net's Eliot Shepard, still recovering from the mental effects of watching the boxing match of the century the night before, sits quietly in a corner, trembling and muttering incoherently to himself.
9:45 The woman behind Darrah Carr Dance, Darrah Carr, makes an increasingly rare Manhattan appearance with erstwhile wingman Alexis Palmer. Despite repeated requests, no Irish dance is performed.
10:24 Indie-rock god Philip Zoellner, nattily clad in post-Billyburg attire, asks LS for fashion advice. Universe implodes.
10:30 Ken Schwartz declares, "Let's get this party started!"
11:15 Rosario's Pizza, Stanton Street. Marshall suggests that JVG and Roslyn Stahl, JA's girlfriend, would make great parents. Together. JA looks disconcerted.
11:47 College roommate Alexis Robie arrives at afterparty at Lucy's on Avenue A with Columbia "J-School" classmate Dan. Conversation about "the nature of property" inevitable.
12:23am Two beers later, Sterling continues to claim that his abberant behavior in a now-legendary Gothamist thread was all part of a "master plan."
12:42 Bon Vivant Andrew Krukoff attempts to convince Marshall that he should refer to his (female) love interest not as "partner" but as "intended." Marshall looks disconcerted.
1:15 Ken Schwartz declares, "Let's get this party started!"
1:22 Marshall, taking a non-smoke break outside Lucy's, engages in guerilla Book of Ages marketing. He would later blog about it. Conclusion: "Asking random passerby, 'Are you 30?' is a great way to sell books, but be sure you have books to sell." (Alas, he did not.)
2:00 DailyCandy's Dannielle Romano claims JVG's wife Xina is "hot" and "Wanted to ride the 'D' Train." Xina's response, next morning: "Wouldn't it be the 'V' Train?"
4:30 After imbibing a final 2 pints in a Red Hook bar with Alexis Robie, JVG heads home via taxi.
10:28am Ken Schwartz declares, "No more drinking dinner!"